Monkey Business on Ko Samui Island, Thailand

Monkey Training 101

One of the great things about speaking on cruise ships is that every now and then one gets the chance to accompany tour groups on behalf of the ship.  Cruise ship companies are very much involved with looking after the comfort and safety of their passengers afloat or ashore on ship arranged tours.  Often they extend their care and presence by having ship's company personnel tag along with tour groups, just in case.  The just in cases include maybe needing a Kleenex or a band aid or a handi wipe or even a barf bag, some of the tools of the ship's escort trade packed in a special handbag provided by the ship.

Recently I was pleased to escort a minibus full of sightseers from AZAMARA QUEST on a trip around the island of Ko Samui, an up and coming destination in the Gulf of Thailand, over toward Malaysia and Singapore.

Ko Samui boasts that it is one of the really prime places for coconuts in Asia.  When you think of the number of coconut palms around the Pacific Rim that is a big boast for a small island.  The locals delight in carrying tourists around to some of the places where they grow and process coconuts.  Should I call the places Coconut Plantations or Coconut Ranches or Coconut Farms or what they really are,  wide spots on the road where they grow coconuts?  Okay, wide spots it is.

The Coconut Husking Lady & Her Sharp Blade

The palms are tall and hard to climb and there is not really a coconut season, pick one and others start up and just keep on growing.  These qualities make harvesting them a bit of a problem.  Someone has to climb up the skinny trunk and select the ripe ones from the not ripe ones and then break the tough stem that ties the coconut to the big bunch of leaves and trunk that make up the top of the tree.  That is a task that requires judgement, an exquisite sense of balance and strength enough to break the fibre filled stem while holding on for one's literal life.  That is a tough job for any guy.  

How would you get it done if you owned a batch of coconut palms that needed harvesting every day or so?  If it were my problem, I would get a really strong, smart and willing guy for the job.  That's just what the locals do, only they use monkeys.  The monkeys can learn lots of things but they have not yet learned about unreasonable bosses who want them to do dangerous things for a few bananas or whatever Thai monkeys get to eat.  That makes them primo candidates for  coconut harvesters.

We got to see how the monkeys are trained and it was quite a show.  Actually, there is not much I can say except the handler or professor of monkey technology or whatever title he has clipped a rope on the monkey's collar and pointed at the tree.  Maybe he also told the monk "Get your monkey butt up there, Waldo" or something in monkey talk but I can't tell monkey from Thai so I think the pointing was the message.

The Star of the Show Taking  His Bow

The monkey climbed the tree better and faster than most of the passengers could climb a bar stool.  When he got there he started to fondle the nuts and picked out a winner.  There is an old rule when you go to sea and are working in heavy weather or inside a tank or someplace where falling is likely:  One hand for me and one for the ship.  The monkey used the same rule and held on to the trunk with one hand and kept twisting the coconut until the stem broke and he sent it to a mat next to the tree.  The crowd cheered, the monkey smiled or grimaced or leered at us below and came back down the tree to the applause of the crowd.

He was a ham and spent much time on a tree stump posing for Kodak Moment at the Coconut Plantation.  What a performer.  It was time to go so I asked the real guide if he could get the monkey handler to have the monk give us a final salute.

Here is the Monkey's Goodbye.

Here's Looking at Ya, Kid

What It Means When Someone Calls You Shipmate (Part 2)

Queen of Bermuda, a Few Years Ago

Our ship was our world.  With no contact with the outside world we left behind all human interaction except for that which took place with the 210 other guys on the vessel.  We lived in a tight community where every day and in every way we had to count on each other for everything.  If whatever it was that we needed was not on the ship we did without or used something else.  Sailors just out of Boot Camp were given jobs on the ship that had to be done and done properly and on time.  These were kids who probably never did a days work for pay before they joined the Navy and who never were given a task and had to get it done by a certain time.

Next Time Pay a Few Bucks More

Whatever happened it happened to all of us.  My ship's boilers were leaky and my evaporators had a hard time making fresh water out of salt.  We had few tanks to carry potable water.  The longer we stayed at sea the less fresh potable water there was for crew.  This meant water hours were put in force.  My ship-fitters went around the ship and took the shower heads off the shower pipes and sealed the pipes with pipe caps.  Fresh water was turned on only in the sinks in the bathrooms from 0630 until 0730  and from 1530 until 1630.  All hands had to take care of their hygiene  during those hours.  There was no fresh water except for those times.

We learned more about some people we never met before we  stepped on the ship than we knew about folks we grew up with. This did not mean that the ship was a mutual admiration society.  Just because you get to know a great deal about your shipmates does not mean that you get to love them.  What it did mean was that you knew them, warts and all.  If a shipmate was a jerk, you learned just how big a jerk he was.  Personal habits, quirks and mannerisms tended to be magnified when you were in intimate contact every day, and many hours every day for some people.  Little things begin to mean a lot when there is no way to escape the owner of the little things that maybe drive you mad.

That being said, every one of those humanly perfect and imperfect sailors were your shipmates and By God, if anyone from any other ship or even shoresiders dared to hassle or degrade them, their shipmates presented a united front and let the outsiders know that certain guys might be jerks, but they are our jerks and woe to anyone outside of our shipboard family who disrespected them.

Adventure At Dawn

I will grant that the situation aboard a modern cruise ship is far from the spartan life we lived during the Cold War in WWII leftover ships.  What is similar is what happens on a cruise ship or any vessel where bands of strangers from far flung homes are thrown together into a universe with definite and very limited boundaries and the population of that universe is just each other.   Folks back home or at the office or school are not there.  You meet, get to know and rely on whoever are your companions aboard for all of the human contact and support you need. The barriers shorebound people use every day with strangers break down, contact is made and friendships evolve faster than you would ever believe.

So, let me assure you that whenever someone who has spent considerable time under way over the horizon calls you a shipmate it is not a casual choice of words.  It is a measure of respect and affection that folks unlucky enough not to have gone to sea could not necessarily comprehend.

The Audience---Shipmates All

What It Means When Someone Calls You Shipmate (Part 1)

Boarding Day

Often, when I am meeting my audience on a cruise ship for a presentation after we are together for a while, I'll welcome them to the talk and greet them as Shipmates.  Then, I'll tell them what I mean when I call them shipmates.  Here is an expanded version of what a shipmate is in my lexicon.

For me and for people who have spent significant time at sea, shipmate is not a throwaway term.  Way, way back when I was a young Navy guy on a Pacific Fleet destroyer we would get underway from our home port for maybe a week or a couple of days or a six month cruise to the other side of the Pacific to do our bit to keep the world safe for democracy in the Cold War era.

American Destroyers in Singapore 1971

If we were lucky we would be pulling in the mooring lines from a pier and, depending on how long a cruise we were leaving for, maybe there would be girl friends or wives standing on the pier waving or crying or looking suitably forlorn.  Tin Cans didn't have a lot of pull and berths alongside were very limited.  We usually found ourselves hooked up to a mooring buoy out in the middle of the harbor or even swinging from our anchor when we were getting underway for long cruises.  No one on the pier, no bands, no ruffles and flourishes, just casting off, setting a course and cranking on the turns.

Leaving a pier can be a big deal but retrieving our bow line from a buoy out in the stream is pretty much of a non-event.  You have a boat in the water, yours or one from a friendly neighbor who gets to stay home that day.  A sailor jumps on the buoy and backs off the bolt on the shackle that holds the bow line to the buoy.  He tosses the bitter end of the line into the water and a batch of deck apes on the bow heave around and haul the line aboard.  A honk or two from the steam whistle and away you go.

At 15 or 18 knots it usually takes around an hour or so for our home port to slip under the horizon over the stern.  You stand there on the wing of the bridge or on the main deck and when you look back all you see is the line of your wake pointing to the home port that gets farther and farther away with every turn of the screws.

Once we went over the horizon and left the home port behind the world shrunk quite a bit.  The world was no longer a place where there were movies or roads or Main Streets to stroll or football games to play or take your girl to see.  The world was just this piece of iron and aluminum that was 376' 8' long with a population was you and another 210 sailors.  I forgot to tell you that there was, of course, no TV, Black and White or Color.  In fact, now that I think about it I never saw a TV set on a US Navy ship until maybe the late 60's.  No CNN because Ted Turner was still trying to pass English Comp at Brown before they threw him out for excessive naughtiness.  No cell phones or any kind of phones and, of course, no computers.  I mean NO computers, not even for steaming or fighting the ship except for some primitive units built so deep into electromotive gear we did not know they were in there, much less what they did.  No radio other than the ones in the Radio Shack and they were dot and dash machines except for the ones that squawked  messages between us and any nearby ship that was steaming  with us.

Shipmates in the Show Room  

MORE TO COME IN PART TWO

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Home Away From Home on the Chao Praya River

Long ago and far away the magical Kingdom of Thailand was a stop that welcomed few ferang, the Thai word for foreigner.  The people that found themselves in Bangkok were usually well heeled and sophisticated or super economy backpackers.  Both passed through or stayed for a while because Thailand was unique, welcoming and exotic.  From the end of WWII through the 80’s Thailand gradually inched up on the world destination list until today it is a regular stop on the itinerary of travelers to Asia.

Not only does Thailand welcome and host Westerners; people from Europe, Australasia, and North and South America, Asian travelers are flocking to the country.  Thailand has arrived and so have mainstream western and asian travelers.

Before Thailand fine tuned the appeal and list of attractions there were some places everyone who visited the country had to see because they were so Thai and so compelling.  The Palaces, the temples, the elephants, the countryside, the family homes that were transformed into Thai Dinner Restaurants and, always, always, the Bangkok floating Market.

Floating Market

The Floating Market of Bangkok was a destination that needed no polishing, no improving, nothing at all.  It was superb as it was.  What it was was an honest to goodness floating emporium or grocery store or modified department store.  The klongs where the market congregated every morning were filled, almost form side to side with small wooden boats that were pole-paddled by the entrepreneur who was there to sell his or more likely, her, goods.  The goods were fresh fruits, vegeatables, meats, fish, and shellfish.  There were also floating restaurants that cooked up breakfast or more substantial meals.  Flower boats and ones with plants were also part of the mix.

The clientele was composed of local ladies who were doing the daily shipping.  They came by foot and walked along the banks until they found the boat that had exactly the fish or fruit or veggie they wanted for today’s dinner.  Shouting and haggling were a part of the background music that made the day a treat to all of the senses.  Some shoppers paddled through the floating fair in their own boats from adjacent klongs.  There were even some of those wild and crazy foreigners in small wooden boats propelled by early tour operators or individuals who saw an opportunity to earn a few baht.

In short, the Bangkok Floating Market was a market.  It was not a tourist destination.  It was where Mom or Granny went to buy the groceries for the day.  It was pure 
Thai.

As Thailand and especially Bangkok grew both economically and physically more and more land was taken up with buildings and more and more women worked away from home.  The low value land along the klongs away from the city center became high value sites for a growing economy and the Moms were busy working on construction sites or in the blooming retail industry or in the new offices that were everywhere.  Granny’s role as the caretaker of the kiddoes was more intense and Gran really didn’t have the time to stroll down the lane to chat up her pals while on the way for a refreshing morning of haggling and buying the day’s needs.

The more complex Thailand and Bangkok became through the 90’s and into the new millennium the fewer local food customers went to the floating market.  At the same time the surge of tourists all had to see the fabled Floating Markets of Thailand.  The demand and rationale that drove the enterprise had very new and different forces.  It was no longer a morning business that took up no rent space along some canals in the periphery of the central city serving the neighborhoods, it became an attraction that competed for space and served mostly tourists and a few local grocery customers.

Inevitably Bangkok became too expensive to host the market.  At the same time more and more tourists showed up wanting to experience the floating market they had heard so much about.  The Bangkok Floating Market just floated away on the tides of progress.

The Floating market today is maybe 60 miles or so outside of central Bangkok in a provincial city called Damnoen Saduak.  Tourists take a bus or van or car on a ride mostly on a high speed road that takes around an hour and a half.  Getting around Thailand is not so bad after you get out of the Bangkok gridlock.

Instead of being a passenger in a small wooden human powered boat the preferred method of visiting the market is a long tail boat powered by an old gasoline powered engine notable for two major characteristics; great, loud engine noises an remarkable black exhaust gases.  And, it is fast, very fast.  That is great except for the fact that it is hard to go fast, really fast in a narrow canal with dozens of boats ahead and other boats coming from the other direction competing for right of way.  Actually, that does not usually bother the driver.  He gooses it like mad anyway.  Great thrill ride.

The scene has a number of piers where the tourists debark into large covered stores that are loaded with anything you never thought you really wanted to buy inThailand.  The boats that make up the market are alongside the walls of the klongs and are selling their products to some locals and many foreign visitors.  The products include the fruit & veggies and main course candidates as well as a great variety of take away or eat on the walkway food.  The products also include conical hats, postcards, T-shirts and other take home to the folks and friends items.

There are more spectators than sellers, there are more sellers on the shore than on the water, there are more tourists than locals.

All of the above having been said you probably think I am going to suggest that you save your time and money and forego the floating Market opportunity.  Wrong.  Do it.  It is still a great part of being in the Bangkok area, it is still a chance to ride boats, see people working alongside the roads marvel at the salt ponds, feel the energy and share in the warmth of the people.  Go.  Do it.  You are in Thailand and the floating market has evolved from the long,long time ago version but it is still unique, welcoming and exotic.  There ain’t no floating market in Munich or Manaus or Manchester or Montreal or Marblehead.  Experience something that is Thai, after all you are in Thailand.

Famous Long Tailed Boats

Down on the Delta, The Mekong, That Is

Got the Bus & Off We Go

One of the great things about traveling on a relatively smaller ship like AZAMARA QUEST is the fact that it draws so little water that it can enter ports that are too shallow for the usual vessels that carry anywhere upwards of 1200 passengers.  QUEST and its sister ship, JOURNEY, carry around 600 well treated, very well fed and cosseted and well pleased folks who are able to take their home away from home right into the center of ports that larger ships are forced to either access them by launch or send their passengers into the actual place by bus from a deepwater port an hour or two away.

Lots of Company 

Instead of having to take  a bus for a couple of extra hours to get to a place that we wanted to see we were able to jump on a coach at shipside and zip out toward the Mekong Delta, Vietnam’s Rice Bowl.  My first time down to the Delta on business was a little more than 20 years ago when some of my Singaporean business buddies and I went down there to try and get something going with the nascent shrimp aquaculture business that was getting big enough to explore overseas markets.  We were at the front edge of the cohort of businessmen from overseas that were moving Vietnam from a closed economy to one that played in the world marketplace.

Heard of Cowboys?  These Are Duckboys

The description of the tour said it would take two hours each way, to and from the Delta.  I found that amusing.  Back a long, long time ago in Hurry Up Vietnam Years it used to take up to two hours in line on a pot holed and overworked tarmac road waiting for passage on an open deck barge that served as a ferry to get across major branches of the Mekong.  I said, branches.  That is because we would go through the sit in a long line of cars, motos, trucks, country buses and animal drawn carts routine every time we came to a new river or large canal.  Bridges were luxury items.

Light Traffic Today

I mention this because it is a reminder that there has been so much progress in the past few decades in Vietnam.  Just think about how much time, gas, effort are wasted by cars sitting waiting for an inherently dangerous ferry to cross a very minor bit of water.  Don’t think about it for too long or it might chip away at your Western attitude of superiority when you reflect at how long you spend in endless traffic at home.

Back to the Mekong.  The trip was super.  This ain’t my first rodeo as they say back home in Texas but no matter how many places I have been lucky to see or trips off the main roads I have taken yesterday’s trip made me feel like a kid on an adventure.

Mekong Buddies

Apocalypse Now Anyone?

We used bus, 30 passenger wooden boat, 4 passenger horse cart, four passenger tippy  paddle powered river boat and foot to see and visit mini aquaculture barges,an island coconut candy factory in a grass shack, a snack bar complete with resident 12 foot long python for draping around your neck in a Kodak Moment, a trip down a narrow stream through a tropical tunnel of palms and a luxury rest stop that looked more like Bali than Vietnam.  How is that for a day trip?

Big Boat

Coconut Tortillas

World's Best Truck Stop

I am the last guy in the world that wants to be classed as a tourist.  I am a bona fide traveler and, yes, there is a significant difference.  However, if yesterday’s tourist treat where we took a tiny nibble out of the big enchilada called Vietnam makes me a tourist, so be it.  It was worth it.

There's a Helmsman in there Somewhere

The Royal Barges of Thailand

Thai King's Royal Barge

Along the shores of the Chao Praya river in Bangkok is a grand boat house that shelters the vessels that belong to the Royal Family of Thailand.  These boats are mostly built out of locally grown hardwoods and are hand crafted in traditional style.  Golden trim, firetruck red paint, use of hand loomed fabrics and extensive carvings of mythical beasts are combined to create boats that would be more at home on the pages of a book of fairy tales than on the muddy water of Chao Praya.  Periodically, for certain festivals like the King’s Birthday and state events, the Royal Barges are manned by dozens of elaborately uniformed Royal Thai Boatmen who smoothly and swiftly row the craft through the water.

King's Birthday Parade

If you are anywhere near Bangkok and you hear that the Royal Barges are going to make an appearance, do whatever you have to to be there for the show.  Even if you miss seeing them on the river don’t miss visiting the Royal Boat House where they stay between events.

Swan Boats Bangkok

In addition to these colorful, traditional watercraft Thailand is also famous for what has been called the World’s Biggest Yacht.  Thailand bought a fairly small aircraft carrier they cal HTMS CHAKRI NARUBET.  This 600+ foot long ship is nominally part of the Royal Thai Navy but usually does not go to sea unless a high level dignitary wants a special thrill.  Royals or Presidents and Prime Ministers are as likely to be aboard when it is at sea as the half dozen or so Jump Jet fighter planes or helicopters that make up the Air Group attached.

HTMS CHAKRI NARUBET

I doubt very much that you will ever see, much less tread the deck of HTMS CHAKRI NARUBET but even if you never see it you will at least have a ready answer to a cruise ship trivia question to name the world’s most expensive yacht.

In case you are wondering HTMS stands for His Thai Majesty’s Ship.

The Royal Ship vs USS KITTYHAWK,
A US Navy Carrier